Becoming Real

Life was going a lot better until right now. I feel so alone, unloved, and worthless. Sometimes I wonder if I would be better off actually alone, with no one, to really find myself. Maybe being dependent on my boyfriend and even friends at any amount is making me weak, frail, and moving backwards. I thought these people pretty much made up my life - but little conversations with them, interactions, simple thoughts just turn me upside down.

I don’t love myself still. I don’t know what else to do, again, to get past this. Maybe I need to leave and get away from society and people. Go somewhere alone and focused. 

I am just feeling so heartbroken for no reason. 

just felt kinda down today. have been a little hard on myself about my self confidence. I am back on the meds and they are helping again, my mom told me to go back on after I came home for winter break - she thought I seemed really depressed still. It was a good choice to go back.

Maybe it was just listening to sad music made me sad. Just kinda blue. Hope everyone else is good.